Howard C. Wilkinson - "An Indefensible Posture" (June 8, 1969)
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Transcript
Transcripts may contain inaccuracies.
(man whistling) | 0:36 | |
(thudding) | 0:37 | |
(man whistling) | 0:40 | |
(soothing piano music) | 1:42 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 3:22 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 5:23 | |
(soothing piano music) | 6:45 | |
- | Joyful noise unto the Lord, | 7:14 |
serve the Lord with gladness, | 7:17 | |
and come before His presence with singing, | 7:19 | |
hear instruction, and be wise, | 7:23 | |
for blessed is the man that hears Him, | 7:26 | |
and watches at his gate. | 7:28 | |
(soothing piano music) | 7:33 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 8:30 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 9:36 | |
(woman coughing) | 10:35 | |
Maybe we join together this morning, | 10:41 | |
in our unison prayer of confession. | 10:44 | |
Let us pray. | 10:47 | |
"Oh Lord, | 10:50 | |
thou has searched us and known us, | 10:51 | |
thou understand us our thoughts are far off, | 10:54 | |
and hard acquainted with all our ways. | 10:57 | |
There is not a word in our tongues, | 11:01 | |
but oh Lord, | 11:04 | |
thou knowest it all together. | 11:05 | |
Take from us all hardness and in penitence, | 11:08 | |
that we admitting our sins, | 11:12 | |
and earnestly facing our faults before thee, | 11:15 | |
may obtain pardon for all our guilt. | 11:19 | |
Absolve us oh God from every kind of sin. | 11:23 | |
Forgive us for trying to be clever, | 11:27 | |
when we should have sought wisdom, | 11:30 | |
heal us from the disease of trying | 11:33 | |
to make names for ourselves, | 11:35 | |
when we should have been seeking to glorify thy name. | 11:37 | |
Enable us oh Lord, | 11:42 | |
to find pardon now, | 11:44 | |
and to obtain everlasting redemption, | 11:46 | |
in the world to come, | 11:49 | |
through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen. | 11:51 | |
The Lord redeems the lives of His servants. | 11:56 | |
None of those who take refuge in Him, | 12:00 | |
will be condemned." | 12:03 | |
(woman coughing) | 12:05 | |
(soothing piano music begins) | 12:20 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 13:11 | |
(woman vocalizing) | 13:31 | |
(soothing piano music) | ||
(woman vocalizing) | 14:44 | |
(soothing piano music) | 15:02 | |
(woman vocalizing) | 15:10 | |
(soothing piano music) | 15:58 | |
(woman vocalizing) | ||
(soothing piano music) | 17:09 | |
(woman vocalizing) | ||
(paper shuffling) | 17:56 | |
- | Our scripture lesson this morning, | 18:01 |
is taken from 1st Corinthians, | 18:04 | |
the 13th chapter, | 18:08 | |
verses 4 through 13. | 18:10 | |
"Love is very patient, very kind, | 18:15 | |
love knows no jealousy. | 18:21 | |
Love makes no parade, | 18:24 | |
it is not arrogant, | 18:28 | |
is never rude, | 18:30 | |
it does not insist on its rights, | 18:32 | |
it is not quick to take offense. | 18:35 | |
Love keeps no score of wrongs, | 18:39 | |
love is never glad when others go wrong, | 18:43 | |
but it's always glad when truth prevails, | 18:47 | |
love knows no limit to its endurance, | 18:51 | |
no end to its trust, | 18:56 | |
it hopes under all circumstances, | 18:59 | |
it endures without limit, | 19:02 | |
love never disappears. | 19:06 | |
The time will come when we outgrow prophecy, | 19:10 | |
if now as static speakings exist, | 19:14 | |
they will cease. | 19:18 | |
As for knowledge, | 19:20 | |
it will be superseded, | 19:22 | |
for our knowledge is fragmentary, | 19:25 | |
and what we prophesy, is incomplete. | 19:29 | |
But when the time of fulfillment comes, | 19:33 | |
the imperfect will be superseded. | 19:37 | |
When I was a child, | 19:41 | |
I used to speak as a child. | 19:43 | |
I felt as a child, | 19:46 | |
I reasoned as a child, | 19:48 | |
but when I grew up, | 19:52 | |
I had finished with childish things. | 19:54 | |
At present, | 19:58 | |
we seem to see only blurred reflections in a mirror, | 19:58 | |
but then, face to face, | 20:03 | |
as yet my knowledge is incomplete, | 20:07 | |
but then I shall know in full, | 20:10 | |
as I have been fully known, | 20:13 | |
there are three things, | 20:17 | |
faith, hope, and love, | 20:20 | |
which lasts forever. | 20:24 | |
But the greatest of these, is love." | 20:26 | |
(soothing piano music) | 20:33 | |
- | The Lord be with you. | 21:21 |
- | And with you too. | 21:23 |
- | Let us pray. | 21:24 |
(paper shuffling) | 21:27 | |
Eternal God, | 21:36 | |
we come this morning in the fellowship of prayer, | 21:39 | |
to seek light upon our ways and strength within our hearts, | 21:42 | |
from those things which can be outwardly seen and touched, | 21:47 | |
we turn to You, | 21:51 | |
Who must be inwardly felt, | 21:52 | |
and spiritually known. | 21:54 | |
We stand in all as we witnessed your creating power | 21:57 | |
in this world about us. | 22:00 | |
And as we grasp the depth of meaning, | 22:02 | |
in life that is offered in Jesus Your son and our savior, | 22:05 | |
it is our delight oh God, | 22:10 | |
to offer words of thanksgiving to you, | 22:12 | |
for the promise of eternal life that is ours. | 22:15 | |
And for the potential of love that is within each heart. | 22:18 | |
And they were all full of questions hard to answer, | 22:23 | |
and evils difficult to understand, | 22:26 | |
You have provided grace and goodness, | 22:30 | |
and a shepherd to guide our ways, | 22:32 | |
for such resources of power as these, | 22:36 | |
we give thanks, | 22:38 | |
for they enable us to live nobly, | 22:40 | |
and with a passion for life, | 22:43 | |
in the most difficult of worlds and times. | 22:46 | |
We thank you God, | 22:50 | |
for the beauty and fullness of the month that is upon us, | 22:52 | |
for the smell of fragrance in the air, | 22:57 | |
and for the tranquil sounds of summer, | 22:59 | |
for the excitement of planning vacations, | 23:02 | |
and for the joy of seeing new places | 23:05 | |
and meeting new friends, | 23:07 | |
for these moments of leisure and recreation, | 23:10 | |
and reunion, | 23:13 | |
and for the peace of body and mind, | 23:15 | |
that comes to us as we pause momentarily, | 23:18 | |
to observe this season, | 23:21 | |
in all its array, | 23:23 | |
and this setting, | 23:25 | |
which has been such a fun place, | 23:26 | |
and younger days for many of us. | 23:29 | |
We thank you God for the circle of friends | 23:33 | |
that surrounds us, | 23:35 | |
for the comfort and understanding they offer | 23:37 | |
in times of trouble, | 23:39 | |
and for the companionship they give us at all times. | 23:41 | |
For new friends who bring renewal as the force us | 23:45 | |
to broaden our perspectives and our concerns, | 23:48 | |
for old friends, | 23:52 | |
who remain faithful, | 23:54 | |
and accept us despite our failings and wrongdoings. | 23:55 | |
We thank you God, | 24:01 | |
for this university and for all who make it alive | 24:02 | |
and give it character, | 24:05 | |
for students to examine its teachings | 24:07 | |
and proclaim its relevance to life. | 24:10 | |
For faculty who introduce us to new worlds of learning, | 24:13 | |
and prompt us to look at ourselves in new dimensions. | 24:17 | |
For administrators who help chart the university's course, | 24:21 | |
and who manage its affairs. | 24:25 | |
For non-academic workers who make it possible | 24:28 | |
for us to live in relative comfort, | 24:31 | |
and free us for the task of doing better individual jobs. | 24:33 | |
For alumni and friends who support | 24:38 | |
its programs with their gifts, | 24:40 | |
and who provide a continuing source | 24:43 | |
of inspiration and concern, | 24:45 | |
for the university that transcends generations, | 24:47 | |
and broadens its influence throughout the world. | 24:50 | |
We thank you God for the fellowship of the church, | 24:54 | |
and for the Ministry of Reconciliation as is offered, | 24:58 | |
in a divided world, | 25:01 | |
for its discipline of concern and love for a man, | 25:04 | |
that has given a depth of purpose and meaning to our lives. | 25:07 | |
For its rich heritage and its inspirations, | 25:11 | |
that have elevated our common lives | 25:15 | |
to new heights of understanding. | 25:17 | |
For its many leaders and lay people, | 25:20 | |
who know its strengths and its hopes for this world, | 25:22 | |
and who see it through these times | 25:25 | |
of questioning and unrest, | 25:27 | |
for the church living and wrestling | 25:30 | |
with the teachings of your son. | 25:32 | |
We thank you. | 25:34 | |
Hear now our prayers of intercession oh Lord, | 25:37 | |
for ours is a world of strife and turmoil, | 25:40 | |
and without your continued help and presence, | 25:43 | |
we are powerless. | 25:46 | |
For those who suffer in faith and conviction, | 25:49 | |
and have attempted to turn back because life is difficult, | 25:52 | |
help and strengthen them, | 25:55 | |
so that by holding out to the end, | 25:58 | |
they may draw others to you by their example, | 26:00 | |
bless those who are ill, | 26:04 | |
that illness may not break their spirit, | 26:06 | |
but give them greater courage to live. | 26:09 | |
That those who are permanently handicapped, | 26:14 | |
may find the way to use and overcome their suffering. | 26:16 | |
We pray for those in our country oh God, | 26:20 | |
who have been exploited or neglected or forgotten, | 26:23 | |
that as a nation we may be quick to identify these people, | 26:27 | |
and quick to recognize their true worth, | 26:31 | |
and their human rights to be a part of, | 26:34 | |
and to share in this nation's wealth, | 26:37 | |
we ask you to heal the tragic divisions of our world, | 26:41 | |
between East and West, | 26:45 | |
black and white, | 26:47 | |
Arab and Jew, | 26:49 | |
so that men everywhere may learn, | 26:51 | |
that the color of one's skin, | 26:53 | |
or the condition of one's upbringing, | 26:55 | |
or the way one expresses his religion, | 26:57 | |
in no way makes him any less a man in God's sight, | 27:00 | |
than ourselves. | 27:03 | |
Cleanse and renew the whole body of the church, | 27:06 | |
that it may truly be an instrument for peace, | 27:09 | |
and reconciliation in this world. | 27:11 | |
And not simply, | 27:14 | |
a place to go to on Sunday, | 27:16 | |
bored of any commitment. | 27:17 | |
There are many parts and many differences | 27:20 | |
among those of us comprising the church membership, | 27:22 | |
but let each believer know that he is joined | 27:28 | |
in oneness with others, | 27:30 | |
through his adherence to love. | 27:32 | |
We pray for the life of the world, | 27:36 | |
that every nation may seek the way that leads to peace, | 27:38 | |
that human freedom may everywhere be respected, | 27:42 | |
and that the world's resources may be shared ugrudgingly. | 27:45 | |
Finally, we pray that the good news of the gospel, | 27:50 | |
may be known and accepted by increasing numbers, | 27:53 | |
seeking after truth and goodness, | 27:56 | |
that each may so experience the presence of Christ | 27:58 | |
through the relevance of His message, | 28:01 | |
that he will hunger for a place in your kingdom. | 28:03 | |
In our prayers of supplication oh God. | 28:08 | |
We ask that you instill our lives with your spirit, | 28:10 | |
as we go to our homes and our work in the coming week, | 28:14 | |
open our ears, | 28:18 | |
to hear what You are saying to us, | 28:20 | |
and the things that happen to us, | 28:22 | |
and in the people we meet. | 28:24 | |
Open our eyes, | 28:27 | |
to see the needs of the people around us, | 28:29 | |
open our hands, to do our work well | 28:33 | |
and to offer help when we are needed. | 28:36 | |
Open our lips, | 28:39 | |
to tell others about a life of Christ, | 28:41 | |
and bring comfort, happiness and laughter to other people, | 28:43 | |
Open our minds, to discover new truth, | 28:48 | |
and to be willing to make necessary changes | 28:51 | |
in our lifestyles. | 28:53 | |
Open our hearts, | 28:56 | |
to love You and our fellow men, | 28:58 | |
as You have loved us and Christ. | 29:00 | |
To Him, with our father and the holy spirit, | 29:05 | |
we offer these our prayers. | 29:07 | |
And now may we join together, | 29:10 | |
for the prayer of our Lord, saying, | 29:12 | |
"Our Father who art in heaven, | 29:15 | |
hallowed be thy name, | 29:18 | |
thy kingdom come. | 29:20 | |
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. | 29:22 | |
Give us this day our daily bread, | 29:27 | |
and forgive us of our trespasses, | 29:29 | |
as we forgive those who trespassed against us, | 29:32 | |
and lead us not into temptation, | 29:35 | |
but deliver us from evil, | 29:38 | |
for thine is the Kingdom, | 29:40 | |
and the power, and the glory, | 29:42 | |
forever. Amen." | 29:44 | |
Before beginning my sermon, | 30:01 | |
I would like to take a couple of minutes | 30:03 | |
to make a few comments. | 30:05 | |
I'll be a bit like the young preacher, | 30:07 | |
that I heard several years ago, | 30:09 | |
on a similar moment say, "Before I preach my sermon, | 30:13 | |
I have something to say." | 30:16 | |
Most of you are aware that Duke University offers, | 30:21 | |
every Sunday morning of the year at 11 o'clock, | 30:25 | |
a Christian service of worship. | 30:29 | |
This is supremely true when the students are here, | 30:32 | |
it is also true when the students are not here, | 30:38 | |
and therefore whatever Sunday of the year it is, | 30:42 | |
you may count on the conduct of a service of worship, | 30:47 | |
is open to all, | 30:53 | |
through the courtesy of radio station WDNC, | 30:55 | |
this may be heard over a wide area. | 30:59 | |
My family and I heard the service, | 31:03 | |
and participated in it, | 31:06 | |
as we drove along in our automobile last summer | 31:09 | |
on the outer banks, | 31:11 | |
Sunday morning at 11 o'clock. | 31:13 | |
I say these words, | 31:17 | |
primarily because of that radio congregation therefore, | 31:19 | |
you may not understand exactly what we're doing here today, | 31:23 | |
those of you in the pews in front of me, | 31:28 | |
know what we're doing, | 31:31 | |
because it's been explained to you by our Alumni Department, | 31:32 | |
who's doing something new this weekend. | 31:37 | |
For the first time, | 31:39 | |
the university is having its alumni reunion, | 31:41 | |
the weekend after Commencement, | 31:45 | |
so that the alumni have the whole campus, | 31:49 | |
to themselves this weekend, | 31:52 | |
and this service of worship this morning, | 31:54 | |
is an alumni service of worship, | 31:57 | |
and most of the congregation present here in the chapel | 32:00 | |
are members of classes that have graduated | 32:03 | |
from the university in prior years, | 32:06 | |
who are back here, | 32:09 | |
and who wished to worship in the chapel today. | 32:10 | |
We have had alumni services of worship before | 32:14 | |
as most of you know, | 32:16 | |
by scheduling them at 8:30 AM on Baccalaureate Sunday. | 32:18 | |
We didn't know what to expect this weekend | 32:25 | |
when Laney Funderburk, Roger Marshall | 32:27 | |
and Boyce Cox and I have been talking about it. | 32:30 | |
We didn't know whether | 32:32 | |
we'd have 10 people here or 9 people, | 32:33 | |
but we are very delighted to find | 32:36 | |
that we have as alumni in this service today | 32:37 | |
as we have had in prior years, | 32:40 | |
when you were here for a combined alumni weekend | 32:43 | |
and Commencement. | 32:46 | |
We rejoice in this because it seems | 32:47 | |
that perhaps this will be a workable pattern. | 32:50 | |
And we welcome you to this service today, | 32:54 | |
those of you who are here in the chapel | 32:57 | |
and those who are listening on the radio. | 32:59 | |
Now since we were a bit apprehensive | 33:01 | |
about how this would go, | 33:03 | |
Boyce Cox and I in planning the service, | 33:04 | |
thought we'd better get all the help we could get, | 33:08 | |
in the service and so we thought if we had Charlie Dukes | 33:11 | |
to read the scripture lesson, | 33:15 | |
and Mary Burgess to sing a couple of solos, | 33:16 | |
we would have as strong support as we could get. | 33:19 | |
We're grateful to them. | 33:22 | |
We are particularly grateful to Mary Burgess, | 33:24 | |
for interrupting her family, | 33:27 | |
packing preparatory to moving to Arizona, | 33:29 | |
in order to sing for us in this final public appearance | 33:33 | |
in the Durham Area prior to her family's moving, out there. | 33:36 | |
We do take some comfort in the fact that Jet Airplanes | 33:41 | |
still operate between Tucson and Durham, | 33:44 | |
and that gives us some ideas for the future. | 33:47 | |
Now, I want to preach to you on the subject announced, | 33:53 | |
which is an "Indefensible Posture." | 33:58 | |
The idea for that sermon, | 34:01 | |
was given to me, | 34:03 | |
by Paul's letter to the Corinthians, | 34:05 | |
the first one and the 13th chapter. | 34:08 | |
I would like to remind you of a few of the verses | 34:12 | |
which Charlie Dukes read a little while ago. | 34:15 | |
"Love is patient, very kind. | 34:19 | |
Love knows no jealousy, | 34:23 | |
love makes no parade, | 34:26 | |
it is not arrogant, is never rude. | 34:29 | |
It does not insist on its rights, | 34:33 | |
is not quick to take offense. | 34:37 | |
Love keeps no score of wrongs, | 34:40 | |
love is never glad when others go wrong, | 34:44 | |
but always glad when truth prevails, | 34:46 | |
love knows no limit to its endurance, | 34:50 | |
no end to its trust, | 34:54 | |
it hopes under all circumstances, | 34:56 | |
it endures without limit, | 34:59 | |
love never disappears. | 35:02 | |
There are three things, | 35:06 | |
faith, hope, love, | 35:07 | |
which lasts forever." | 35:09 | |
Now, as I read those in the translations | 35:13 | |
which are represented in this reading, | 35:16 | |
it gave me the idea that there are three physical postures, | 35:20 | |
which a man may take while standing on his feet. | 35:25 | |
And all of these three, | 35:27 | |
there is one which is the posture, | 35:29 | |
represented here in this scripture passage. | 35:31 | |
Now, if I'm standing on my feet, | 35:35 | |
with my feet very firmly planted on the ground, | 35:36 | |
and my fists doubled, | 35:41 | |
and in a defensive posture or an aggressive posture, | 35:44 | |
this is one thing, | 35:49 | |
that is a threatening posture. | 35:53 | |
There is a second one, | 35:56 | |
where my feet are as firmly and intentionally planted | 35:58 | |
on the ground as in the first, | 36:02 | |
but I do not have my fists clenched, | 36:05 | |
and I do not therefore give aggressive | 36:08 | |
or threatening demeanor, | 36:11 | |
however, I have my arms folded. | 36:13 | |
And I am going to be sure that I'm not pushed off balance, | 36:17 | |
or pulled off balance. | 36:21 | |
I'm going to defend myself against any push or tug. | 36:24 | |
A third one, | 36:29 | |
might involve me having my feet planted | 36:31 | |
as firmly as in the first two, | 36:34 | |
but my hand is outstretched. | 36:37 | |
I'm a little bit off balance, | 36:40 | |
or my arms are open, | 36:43 | |
and my head is leaning forward | 36:46 | |
and I'm looking to see whom I might lift up, | 36:48 | |
whose hand I might class, | 36:53 | |
whom I might help. | 36:56 | |
Now, this third posture, | 37:00 | |
is the posture of trust and love, | 37:02 | |
but it is not a posture in which one may defend himself, | 37:07 | |
with near the degree of success as either of the first two, | 37:13 | |
it's a vulnerable posture. | 37:18 | |
As you reach down to lift up someone who's on the ground, | 37:20 | |
this person may take advantage, | 37:24 | |
of your generosity and your kindness, | 37:26 | |
and your trust and your love, | 37:29 | |
and grasp your hand or your wrist, | 37:31 | |
and pull you to the ground, | 37:33 | |
pull you off balance, | 37:35 | |
do all kinds of things to you that you don't want | 37:37 | |
to have done to you. | 37:39 | |
And yet, if you remain in either one | 37:42 | |
of the first two postures, | 37:45 | |
you remain in a position where you cannot help | 37:47 | |
that person who is down on the ground to rise, | 37:50 | |
or who wants to rise to the same height | 37:53 | |
on which you're standing. | 37:55 | |
If you stay in either of the first two postures, | 37:57 | |
you cannot help that person rise. | 38:00 | |
And so it's a risky kind of posture. | 38:05 | |
It is a posture that opens you up to being hurt perhaps. | 38:08 | |
And I would wanna be honest enough to say, | 38:16 | |
in describing that posture to you this morning, | 38:19 | |
that you may get hurt if you take it. | 38:22 | |
All right? | 38:27 | |
Let's see how that posture works in several situations. | 38:28 | |
How does it apply to marriage? | 38:33 | |
I think it applies to marriage in at least three ways. | 38:37 | |
When a couple stands before the alter of the church, | 38:41 | |
and they recite their vows to each to the other, | 38:44 | |
they say they will be faithful to each other | 38:49 | |
in sickness and in health. | 38:51 | |
Let's just put a period after sickness. | 38:56 | |
I will be faithful to you in sickness. | 39:01 | |
Watch out, when you say that, | 39:05 | |
if you mean it, | 39:08 | |
you may get hurt. | 39:10 | |
I married a couple in the City of Charlotte in 1946, | 39:14 | |
and they said those words to each, to the other. | 39:19 | |
And it appeared that they loved each other, | 39:21 | |
eight years after that, | 39:24 | |
the wife wrote to me and described, | 39:28 | |
a situation that existed in their marriage, | 39:32 | |
and told me what she proposed to do. | 39:35 | |
The situation was that her husband, | 39:39 | |
who was aware that he was not very healthy, | 39:41 | |
went to the doctor, | 39:44 | |
and after a thorough examination, | 39:46 | |
he discovered that he had cancer very extensively | 39:48 | |
throughout his body. | 39:52 | |
And the doctor said, | 39:54 | |
he would recommend that he simply resigned himself | 39:56 | |
to the fact that he would not recover, | 40:00 | |
their financial means and at that time, | 40:03 | |
the medical availability were such, | 40:05 | |
that it looked like a hopeless case. | 40:08 | |
And the doctor did not know how long | 40:11 | |
it would be that he would have, | 40:15 | |
or what the course of the illness would be. | 40:17 | |
But the outlook was very black. | 40:20 | |
The wife knew this, the husband knew this, | 40:25 | |
and the husband who loved his wife of eight years | 40:28 | |
very much said to her, | 40:30 | |
"Dear, I love you more than anything in this world. | 40:32 | |
You are healthy and I am fatally ill, | 40:38 | |
but I will probably be here a good while. | 40:42 | |
I want you to leave me now, | 40:46 | |
and go and begin a new life while you are young, | 40:49 | |
and healthy and you have your strength, | 40:52 | |
but if you stay and take care of me, | 40:55 | |
when I am dead and gone, you will be older, | 40:59 | |
your beauty will have faded somewhat, | 41:02 | |
and your strength will have paled. | 41:04 | |
I have two sisters who can look after me, | 41:07 | |
let me live with them until I die. | 41:10 | |
You leave now because I love you." | 41:14 | |
She said she did not propose to leave, | 41:17 | |
she did love him, | 41:20 | |
and she had promised to love him in sickness. | 41:22 | |
Well, she stayed with him, | 41:27 | |
and to make a long story short, | 41:29 | |
after many months had gone by, | 41:31 | |
for some strange reason and I do not now try to explain it. | 41:35 | |
I don't know that there is an explanation | 41:40 | |
that would be agreed upon by everyone, | 41:42 | |
but the fact was that after many months had gone by, | 41:47 | |
and he went back for examination. | 41:50 | |
There was no trace of cancer anywhere in his body. | 41:51 | |
And today there is no trace of cancer in his body, | 41:57 | |
but in that marriage, there is every evidence of love. | 42:02 | |
That woman has a good marriage today. | 42:10 | |
She has a husband who loved her, | 42:13 | |
and her husband who loves her today, | 42:16 | |
and whom she loves. | 42:18 | |
She ran a risk, she took an indefensible posture. | 42:21 | |
She could have been hurt in every way, | 42:25 | |
but she ran the risk. | 42:29 | |
She made the gamble, | 42:31 | |
she had the trust and the love, | 42:32 | |
and she also had hope. | 42:35 | |
It doesn't always turn out that way, | 42:39 | |
but she did not run this risk and have that faith | 42:43 | |
and that love because she was sure | 42:46 | |
it would turn out that way, | 42:48 | |
she did that because of her love. | 42:51 | |
The second thing which this posture means | 42:56 | |
with reference to marriage is, | 42:59 | |
that if you love each other, | 43:02 | |
when death comes to one of you, | 43:06 | |
and it almost always comes to one of us | 43:09 | |
before it does to the other one in marriage, | 43:12 | |
you are absolutely certain to be hurt by your grief. | 43:15 | |
The only person who is not hurt, | 43:20 | |
when a spouse dies is the one who does not love and care. | 43:23 | |
If you love your husband or your wife, | 43:30 | |
and your spouse dies before you do, | 43:33 | |
you're absolutely certain to be deeply injured | 43:35 | |
by grief and sorrow. | 43:39 | |
How often, | 43:42 | |
how often as a minister I have seen this | 43:44 | |
and expect to see it throughout my ministry. | 43:48 | |
But you know what the alternative is? | 43:52 | |
The only alternative, | 43:56 | |
to that kind of hurt and sorrow | 43:58 | |
and grief is not to have loved. | 44:00 | |
Can you face yourself in the mirror with that? | 44:07 | |
That's the only way you can protect yourself | 44:12 | |
against being hurt, | 44:14 | |
by the death of your spouse, | 44:15 | |
is not to have loved. | 44:17 | |
You want that? | 44:20 | |
Think it over. | 44:23 | |
If you do not love, | 44:28 | |
you won't be hurt, | 44:31 | |
at the death of your spouse, | 44:33 | |
but what kind of person will you be? | 44:36 | |
Third, I believe this indefensible posture, | 44:40 | |
as applied to marriage means | 44:45 | |
that you must trust your husband or your wife. | 44:47 | |
You must absolutely gamble all you are and have | 44:52 | |
that this person will be trustworthy, | 44:56 | |
will be faithful to you. | 45:00 | |
All right, if you do that, | 45:02 | |
what'll happen? | 45:03 | |
You may get hurt. | 45:05 | |
That's what may happen. | 45:07 | |
This person may not turn out to be faithful to you, | 45:08 | |
may not in the end be trustworthy, | 45:12 | |
and this will break your heart. | 45:15 | |
But if you don't trust, | 45:18 | |
what are you doing? | 45:21 | |
The husband or a wife who does not trust the mate, | 45:23 | |
is certainly and here there is no risk or gamble. | 45:27 | |
The one who does not trust his or her mate | 45:31 | |
is certainly removing from that mate, | 45:34 | |
a kind of support and ingredient of personal success, | 45:38 | |
which is absolutely necessary | 45:43 | |
to his or her becoming and being the kind of person | 45:45 | |
you want that mate to be. | 45:48 | |
So that if you play it safe and you do not trust your mate, | 45:50 | |
you're not playing it safe. | 45:54 | |
You are almost guaranteeing the downfall | 45:56 | |
of your mate by your distrust. | 45:58 | |
There's no way around that. | 46:04 | |
So if you're going to marry, | 46:06 | |
or if you have married, | 46:09 | |
the only thing you can do, | 46:11 | |
is gamble by taking this defenseless posture, | 46:13 | |
of opening your heart to the possibility of being hurt. | 46:19 | |
I heard a father say to his daughter several years ago | 46:28 | |
at the time that it was pretty clear | 46:31 | |
that the daughter was falling in love with a young man, | 46:33 | |
"Watch out daughter, | 46:36 | |
if you fall for this young man he may break your heart." | 46:38 | |
Hell of course, | 46:43 | |
certainly, precisely, | 46:44 | |
anyone whom she may have fallen in love with, | 46:48 | |
might break her heart. | 46:52 | |
That's the way love is. | 46:54 | |
That's the way marriage is. | 46:56 | |
Dr. Goodspeed in translating a portion | 46:59 | |
of the 13th chapter of 1st Corinthians says, | 47:01 | |
"Love does not insist on its rights." | 47:04 | |
Love does not insist on its rights. | 47:08 | |
Did you ever see two young people come up to the alter, | 47:13 | |
to say the marriage vows, | 47:17 | |
and they say to each other, "Now look, | 47:19 | |
marriage has some rights in it. | 47:22 | |
There are some things in marriage, | 47:25 | |
that I'm supposed to get out of it, | 47:28 | |
and I wanna be sure I get what's coming to me." | 47:30 | |
No, you never have heard a couple do that, | 47:33 | |
or say that. | 47:37 | |
And if I were the minister, | 47:39 | |
and they presented themselves at the altar for marriage, | 47:41 | |
with that kind of talk, | 47:44 | |
I wouldn't marry them. | 47:45 | |
There are some rights that you have in marriage, | 47:49 | |
but love does not spend its time insisting on those rights. | 47:52 | |
To quote Dr. Goodspeed translation of that verse. | 47:57 | |
The new English Bible translates a phrase in there, | 48:02 | |
"Love keeps no score of wrongs." | 48:05 | |
If you say, "Well I'm going to be sure I don't get hurt | 48:10 | |
in this marriage and I'm going to keep score | 48:13 | |
of the wrongs against me." | 48:15 | |
And if one gets a little bit over the other, | 48:16 | |
then that's the end. | 48:19 | |
You're guaranteeing the failure of the marriage. | 48:20 | |
There is only one sensible posture to take in marriage, | 48:25 | |
and that is the defenseless posture. | 48:30 | |
Opening yourself to your mate in such way, | 48:35 | |
that you might really get hurt. | 48:38 | |
All right? | 48:42 | |
How does this posture apply to parenthood? | 48:44 | |
Well, if you love your children, | 48:48 | |
and care about them, | 48:50 | |
and then if they disappoint you, | 48:52 | |
this is going to give you a heavy heart. | 48:54 | |
So if you love your children, | 48:58 | |
you stand the possibility, | 49:01 | |
of getting hurt, | 49:03 | |
but if you're not willing to lay your heart bare, | 49:04 | |
to leave yourself unprotected against possible hurt, | 49:07 | |
then don't bring any children into the world, | 49:11 | |
because you can't love them without running this risk. | 49:14 | |
And if you're not going to love your children, | 49:18 | |
you guarantee their downfall. | 49:20 | |
JB Phillips translates another verse in this chapter. | 49:25 | |
"Love knows no end to its trust." | 49:28 | |
The posture that is so defenseless, | 49:36 | |
applies to parenthood, | 49:39 | |
as well as to marriage. | 49:41 | |
How does it apply to business? | 49:44 | |
Well, it means that after you have exercised | 49:48 | |
your most critical judgment, | 49:51 | |
about the selection of your business partners, | 49:54 | |
and you've made your choice of the person | 49:58 | |
or persons with whom you're going into business, | 50:01 | |
you then have to trust them. | 50:03 | |
All right? Suppose you trust them, | 50:07 | |
you may be disappointed. | 50:08 | |
That's one. | 50:10 | |
I know a man whose employer has come to him, | 50:13 | |
and asked him to do things for his employer. | 50:17 | |
They were very necessary to his employer | 50:21 | |
staying in business, | 50:23 | |
which only that employee himself could do. | 50:26 | |
His employer could not do those things, | 50:28 | |
that were necessary for the success of the business. | 50:31 | |
The employee said, "Well, if I do those things, | 50:36 | |
I'll have to have help with my routine responsibilities. | 50:39 | |
Otherwise I can't do them." | 50:43 | |
The help was not given, | 50:46 | |
and finally his employer said, | 50:47 | |
"I will have to deduct a part of your salary because, | 50:50 | |
you have not done all your routine responsibilities." | 50:54 | |
Well, his employer had been unfaithful to him. | 50:59 | |
He had trusted his employer and his employer, | 51:03 | |
had not been worthy of that trust. | 51:07 | |
So what should the employee do, | 51:11 | |
never trust again? | 51:13 | |
If he makes that decision, | 51:16 | |
that's the most foolish decision of all that he can make. | 51:17 | |
You have to trust. | 51:21 | |
There is no other way that business can operate. | 51:24 | |
I was talking one day to Paul Irvin, | 51:28 | |
who is a graduate of our law school | 51:30 | |
and he said a man came to him and said, "Mr. Irvin, | 51:32 | |
I'm going into business with a man that I do not trust. | 51:35 | |
And I want you to write up a legal agreement, | 51:37 | |
concerning our relationship that will be so airtight | 51:40 | |
that there will be no way he can take advantage of me." | 51:43 | |
Paul Irvin's answer to that was, | 51:47 | |
"I would like to have your business | 51:50 | |
and I would be pleased to have the fee | 51:51 | |
that would come from drawing up such an agreement | 51:53 | |
but honesty compels me to tell you, | 51:55 | |
that if you're thinking of going into a business | 51:58 | |
with a man whom you do not trust, | 52:01 | |
there is no collection of words that can be put on paper, | 52:02 | |
that will save you from him taking advantage of you. | 52:06 | |
And the only thing I can say to you is | 52:11 | |
don't go into business with him if you don't trust him, | 52:12 | |
but if you're going into business with him, trust him." | 52:15 | |
So it is. | 52:21 | |
How does this apply, | 52:24 | |
to our relationship, to our friends, | 52:26 | |
our associates, newspaper reporters, | 52:29 | |
neighbors, | 52:33 | |
classmates, teammates. | 52:36 | |
I think the only thing we can do, | 52:39 | |
if we're going to associate with people | 52:41 | |
and have dealings with them is to trust them. | 52:43 | |
And when we do, we are sometimes going to be hurt. | 52:46 | |
I know from personal experience that a newspaper reporter | 52:50 | |
can absolutely report you as being the opposite | 52:53 | |
of what you are and report you as having said, | 52:56 | |
the complete reverse of what you did say, | 53:00 | |
and say that you did what you did not do. | 53:03 | |
So what are you going to do? | 53:06 | |
Say I'll never trust another newspaper reporter | 53:08 | |
as long as I live? | 53:10 | |
Don't be a fool. | 53:13 | |
Your friends will sometimes stab you in the back, | 53:17 | |
if you trust them. | 53:21 | |
But if you don't trust them, | 53:22 | |
you're stabbing yourself in the back. | 53:23 | |
Last month here at Duke, | 53:29 | |
a group of students had a peace parade. | 53:32 | |
When it was over a student came to me with a complaint. | 53:35 | |
He said, "I listened to the leaders of this group | 53:39 | |
that was going to make the parade and they said | 53:43 | |
that they were going to have a peace parade, | 53:45 | |
just to make a witness for peace and against war." | 53:47 | |
Well he said I was against war and for peace | 53:51 | |
and so I joined them. | 53:53 | |
And when I got to the end of the parade, | 53:54 | |
the leaders led the group in some slogans | 53:56 | |
in favor of Holcimin. | 53:59 | |
And he said, I was totally disgusted. | 54:02 | |
They had betrayed me. | 54:06 | |
They had led me to think that the demonstration | 54:08 | |
would be one thing and it turned out to be, | 54:11 | |
a disgusting perversion | 54:14 | |
of what they had promised it would be. | 54:16 | |
I said well, what do you conclude from that? | 54:20 | |
He said, "I don't know. | 54:23 | |
That's why I'm here." | 54:24 | |
And I said, "The one thing I want to say to you | 54:27 | |
is don't let that teach you never to trust anyone again. | 54:30 | |
You be who you are, | 54:34 | |
and stand for what you believe. | 54:35 | |
And eventually people will find out, | 54:38 | |
that you are what you are, | 54:41 | |
and they will know that you are not, | 54:43 | |
what you're not." | 54:45 | |
All right? | 54:48 | |
How does this posture apply to your university, | 54:50 | |
and your church? | 54:54 | |
If you say you will extend no trust, | 54:58 | |
and no love, to the university and the church, | 55:01 | |
until you know for absolute certain | 55:06 | |
that everything it is doing, | 55:08 | |
and has done, is right by your standards, | 55:11 | |
will that posture help your university, | 55:16 | |
and your church, | 55:19 | |
or will it help it to falter and to fail? | 55:21 | |
I believe that such an attitude of distrust, | 55:25 | |
will help your university to fail and your church to fail | 55:30 | |
the same way it would help a marriage to fail. | 55:34 | |
If on the other hand, | 55:39 | |
after exercising all the wisdom | 55:41 | |
and critical judgment you can, | 55:43 | |
about the selection of the leaders of your university | 55:47 | |
and your church, | 55:49 | |
you then trust them and love them, | 55:52 | |
you help your university and your church | 55:56 | |
to overcome their faults. | 55:59 | |
You aid them to achieve their best, | 56:01 | |
and you inspire their leaders to want to make | 56:05 | |
those institutions, | 56:08 | |
the kind of institutions, | 56:10 | |
that you feel they should be. | 56:12 | |
The Berkeley version of one of the sentences, | 56:17 | |
in the 13th of 1st Corinthians says, | 56:20 | |
"Love hopes under all circumstances." | 56:23 | |
Love hopes under all circumstances. | 56:28 | |
Now let's look at those verses again. | 56:35 | |
Paul said, love is very patient, | 56:39 | |
very kind, | 56:42 | |
love knows no jealousy. | 56:44 | |
Love makes no parade, is not arrogant, | 56:47 | |
never rude, | 56:49 | |
does not insist on its rights, | 56:51 | |
is not quick to take offense. | 56:54 | |
Love keeps no score of wrongs, | 56:57 | |
love is never glad when others go wrong, | 57:00 | |
but is always glad when truth prevails, | 57:05 | |
love knows no limit to its endurance, | 57:09 | |
no end to its trust, | 57:11 | |
it hopes under all circumstances. | 57:13 | |
It endures without limit, | 57:16 | |
love never disappears. | 57:19 | |
There are three things, | 57:22 | |
faith, | 57:23 | |
hope, and love, | 57:26 | |
which lasts forever. | 57:28 | |
Well, I've called this a sermon | 57:32 | |
about an Indefensible Posture, | 57:34 | |
but really that isn't quite correct. | 57:36 | |
A good biblical defense can be made for the posture, | 57:40 | |
for a person taking the posture which I have described. | 57:46 | |
So what I actually mean to say is that this posture leaves | 57:50 | |
the person undefended, | 57:53 | |
who takes it? | 57:57 | |
The emotional happiness of the individual | 58:00 | |
who assumes this stance, | 58:03 | |
remains unguarded, | 58:06 | |
undefended, | 58:11 | |
open to being hurt, | 58:12 | |
open to being disappointed, | 58:15 | |
and aggrieved. | 58:19 | |
Indeed the chief purpose of this sermon today, | 58:21 | |
is to advocate the taking of that posture. | 58:25 | |
And to urge you to be willing, | 58:30 | |
to that extent to be undefended, | 58:33 | |
to run the risks which it requires, | 58:37 | |
in your marriage, | 58:40 | |
with your children, | 58:43 | |
in your business, | 58:45 | |
with your friends and associates, | 58:47 | |
and with your university, and your church. | 58:49 | |
Almighty God, our heavenly Father, | 58:55 | |
Who has believed in us, | 58:59 | |
when we were faithless, | 59:01 | |
Who loved us when we were unlovely, | 59:05 | |
Who sent your son to die for us | 59:09 | |
when we were yet in our sins, | 59:11 | |
help us to respond, | 59:15 | |
to what you have done for us, | 59:18 | |
by doing in some small way by your grace, | 59:22 | |
the same thing for our fellow man, | 59:25 | |
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. | 59:28 | |
(soothing piano music) | 59:40 | |
(soothing piano music continues) | 1:01:09 | |
(soothing piano music) | 1:02:15 | |
(soft piano music) | 1:03:22 | |
(woman vocalizing) | 1:03:40 |
Item Info
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