James Y. Greene - "Roots of Reconciliation" (August 18, 1974)
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Transcript
Transcripts may contain inaccuracies.
(tender music) | 0:04 | |
- | Okay. (indistinct) | 0:05 |
Okay, this is the (indistinct) | 0:11 | |
Any place where you have the page. | 0:14 | |
Be sure to get it beyond (indistinct) on the entrance | 0:19 | |
and for (indistinct) | 0:21 | |
(woman vocalizing) | 0:24 | |
Okay, so you can hear when the (indistinct) | 0:31 | |
and take it from my (indistinct) | 0:37 | |
(tender worship music) | 0:40 | |
Now come on (indistinct) | 0:47 | |
(choir laughing) | 0:50 | |
- | We need to take turns. | 0:52 |
(tender music) | 0:56 | |
(indistinct) | 1:00 | |
(tender worship music) | 1:02 | |
(bright worship music) | 1:06 | |
(indistinct) | 1:23 | |
(bright worship music) | 1:24 | |
(tender worship music) | 1:49 | |
(bright worship music) | 5:08 | |
- | Oh God of peace, | 6:48 |
you have taught us that in returning to you, | 6:50 | |
we shall find life. | 6:54 | |
And that your support will be our strength. | 6:56 | |
We pray for your enduring spirit | 7:00 | |
to guide those who lead this worship, | 7:03 | |
and all who worship today. | 7:06 | |
That we may become aware of your sustaining presence. | 7:09 | |
We pray in the spirit of our Lord, our amen. | 7:13 | |
♪ Praise to the Lord he's Almighty ♪ | 7:22 | |
♪ The king of creation ♪ | 7:26 | |
♪ Oh my soul praise the Lord ♪ | 7:33 | |
♪ He is my rock and salvation ♪ | 7:36 | |
♪ All ye who came ♪ | 7:43 | |
♪ Now to this temple crying ♪ | 7:47 | |
♪ Join me in acclamation ♪ | 7:53 | |
(bright worship music) | 8:04 | |
Let us now corporately confess our sin | 10:52 | |
in the presence of our holy God | 10:54 | |
and our friends here gathered. | 10:57 | |
Eternal God, you who see into the secret places | 11:01 | |
of pride and fear. | 11:06 | |
You who see all the ways | 11:08 | |
by which we seek to reconstruct ourselves. | 11:10 | |
You who know we seek presentability rather than purity, | 11:14 | |
amiability rather than love, | 11:20 | |
and comfort, rather than justice, | 11:23 | |
have mercy on us. | 11:26 | |
For all the times we have chosen | 11:28 | |
to remain hostile and ignorant, | 11:31 | |
rather than compassionate and understanding. | 11:33 | |
For all the times we have begged the world | 11:37 | |
to gear its actions to our desires. | 11:40 | |
And have whined when our plans were disturbed by human need. | 11:44 | |
For all the times, when we have said, | 11:49 | |
wait, until we are ready, | 11:52 | |
to our brother and sister, and to you. | 11:55 | |
For all of us who believe insulation | 11:59 | |
from discomfort and suffering is our best solution | 12:02 | |
to our peaceful life. | 12:06 | |
For all of us who prefer you as a religious convenience, | 12:08 | |
rather than a searing pardon, we pray for pardon. | 12:13 | |
Creator, | 12:19 | |
Lord, | 12:20 | |
judge, | 12:21 | |
come into our spirits as love and mercy. | 12:23 | |
As you give us the courage to face up to ourselves | 12:27 | |
and your work on our behalf this day. | 12:31 | |
Amen. | 12:34 | |
And now let us make our private confession. | 12:37 | |
Rejoice in the good news that God does forgive our sins | 13:02 | |
and that we are made whole. | 13:07 | |
We give thanks for God's continuous love for us. | 13:10 | |
Amen. | 13:14 | |
(tender worship music) | 13:17 | |
(bright worship music) | 13:44 | |
The congregation will stand for the reading of the gospel | 15:59 | |
taken from Matthew the fifth chapter. | 16:02 | |
"You have heard that it was said, | 16:11 | |
an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. | 16:13 | |
But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil, | 16:16 | |
but if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, | 16:21 | |
turn to him the other also. | 16:24 | |
and if anyone would sue you and take your coat, | 16:26 | |
let him have your cloak as well. | 16:29 | |
And if anyone forces you to go one mile, | 16:32 | |
go with him two miles. | 16:36 | |
Give to him who begs from you, | 16:38 | |
and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. | 16:40 | |
You have heard that it was said, | 16:44 | |
you will love your neighbor and hate your enemy. | 16:46 | |
But I say to you, love your enemies, | 16:49 | |
and pray for those who persecute you, | 16:53 | |
so that you may be sons of your father, who is in heaven. | 16:55 | |
For he makes his sun to rise on the evil, and on the good. | 16:59 | |
And sends rain on the just and on the unjust. | 17:04 | |
For if you love those who love you, | 17:09 | |
what reward have you? | 17:13 | |
Do not even the tax collectors do the same? | 17:15 | |
And if you salute only your brethren, | 17:18 | |
what more are you doing more than others? | 17:21 | |
Do not even the Gentiles do the same? | 17:25 | |
You therefore must be perfect, | 17:28 | |
as your heavenly father is perfect." | 17:30 | |
Thus endeth the reading for the day. | 17:33 | |
(bright worship music) | 17:36 | |
Let us affirm our faith. | 18:18 | |
We are not alone, | 18:20 | |
we live in God's world. | 18:22 | |
We believe in God, | 18:25 | |
who has created and is creating. | 18:27 | |
Who has come in the true man, Jesus, | 18:30 | |
to reconcile and make new, | 18:33 | |
who works in us and others by his spirit. | 18:35 | |
We trust him, | 18:39 | |
he calls us to be in his church, | 18:41 | |
to celebrate his presence, | 18:44 | |
to love and serve others, | 18:46 | |
to seek justice and resist evil, | 18:48 | |
to proclaim Jesus crucified and risen, | 18:51 | |
our judge and our hope, | 18:55 | |
in life, in death, | 18:57 | |
in life beyond death, God is with us, | 19:00 | |
we are not alone, | 19:04 | |
thanks be to God. | 19:06 | |
The Lord be with you. | 19:08 | |
Congregation | And also with you. | 19:11 |
- | Let us pray. | 19:12 |
Oh, holy God, | 19:22 | |
it is hard for us to comprehend | 19:24 | |
that you who created this universe, | 19:27 | |
you who always have been, | 19:30 | |
you who know us, | 19:34 | |
also care for us, | 19:36 | |
and love us and respond to our prayers. | 19:40 | |
Such awareness O Lord, | 19:44 | |
causes us to bow before you, | 19:47 | |
in awe, and with thanksgiving. | 19:50 | |
Hear our prayers of thanksgiving, | 19:54 | |
we give thanks for the future, | 19:57 | |
and the new hope we feel as a people. | 20:00 | |
We give thanks that we have responsibility for our lives, | 20:04 | |
and for this world. | 20:08 | |
And especially for the good people | 20:10 | |
who act out your love and concern for us. | 20:12 | |
And for those who have acted to bring us new hope | 20:15 | |
as a nation. | 20:20 | |
Hear our prayers of intercession oh Lord, | 20:23 | |
we bring before you our divided lives, | 20:27 | |
our divided families, our divided world, | 20:30 | |
our divided church. | 20:34 | |
May we be responsible to the unity evidenced in your love, | 20:37 | |
and triumph over hateful divisions. | 20:42 | |
We bring before you all people who are sorely troubled, | 20:47 | |
those who are sick and dying, | 20:51 | |
the lonely, the victims of injustice | 20:54 | |
and disorder and oppression, | 20:58 | |
all who suffer in any way. | 21:01 | |
Remember oh Lord, those persons for whom we desire to pray, | 21:05 | |
as we name them in the privacy of our heart. | 21:09 | |
O sovereign of the universe, | 21:21 | |
we bring you the concern of our country, | 21:23 | |
and all countries in this world, | 21:26 | |
you alone give wisdom and understanding. | 21:28 | |
Inspire we pray, the minds and hearts | 21:32 | |
of all who have responsibility of government and leadership, | 21:35 | |
especially our president. | 21:40 | |
Give to them the vision of truth and justice, | 21:43 | |
and the strength to lead us to a just and righteous society. | 21:45 | |
And oh God, we pray for those who suffer | 21:51 | |
because of our economic crisis, | 21:54 | |
and for all who are starving because of the droughts. | 21:57 | |
We need your help to live responsibly, | 22:02 | |
in these destructive times. | 22:04 | |
We pray for your church, | 22:08 | |
that it may be responsible for people being made whole | 22:10 | |
in body and in spirit. | 22:14 | |
Oh God, hear our prayers for ourselves. | 22:18 | |
We know that our prayers are vain and empty, | 22:23 | |
unless we are obedient to your will. | 22:27 | |
And the needs we lift before you. | 22:30 | |
You have given us the grace to be instruments of love | 22:35 | |
in your works of healing and judgment. | 22:38 | |
You have commissioned us to proclaim forgiveness | 22:41 | |
and condemnation. | 22:44 | |
Deliverance to the captive and captivity to the pried. | 22:46 | |
Give us the patience of those who understand, | 22:50 | |
and the impatience of those who love, | 22:55 | |
that the might of your gentleness may work through us, | 22:57 | |
and the mercy of your wrath may speak through us. | 23:02 | |
And the healing of your spirit may rest in us. | 23:07 | |
And hear us oh Lord, as we pray the prayer of your son. | 23:12 | |
Our father who art in heaven, | 23:17 | |
hallowed be thy name, | 23:20 | |
thy kingdom come, | 23:22 | |
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. | 23:24 | |
Give us this day our daily bread, | 23:29 | |
and forgive us our trespasses, | 23:31 | |
as we forgive those who trespass against us. | 23:34 | |
And lead us not into temptation, | 23:37 | |
but deliver us from evil, | 23:40 | |
for thine is the kingdom, | 23:42 | |
and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. | 23:44 | |
Amen. | 23:49 | |
This afternoon at five o'clock Mr. James Welch, | 23:52 | |
assistant organist from Stanford University, | 23:55 | |
will play the final concert in the summer series. | 23:58 | |
You are invited this afternoon | 24:01 | |
here to do chapel for this concert. | 24:04 | |
We appreciate the fine contribution | 24:07 | |
Meredith Parker and the summer choir, | 24:10 | |
have made to our worship. | 24:12 | |
We will miss you next Sunday, | 24:14 | |
we welcome you back for the new year. | 24:15 | |
We welcome to the pulpit today, Mr. Jim Green, | 24:19 | |
who has been closely associated with, | 24:21 | |
and a good friend of the Duke Campus Ministry, | 24:24 | |
since he began his work here with us, several years ago. | 24:26 | |
We are glad to hear you, Jim. | 24:30 | |
- | Several years ago, more than I care to remember, | 24:49 |
when I was in junior high school, | 24:53 | |
a close friend, and I had a long and hot argument. | 24:56 | |
Finally in frustration, | 25:00 | |
he reached over and slapped me across the cheek, | 25:01 | |
saying as he did so, "The Bible says, turn the other cheek." | 25:05 | |
Well, you know, I believed in the Bible, | 25:11 | |
or at least I thought I ought to, | 25:13 | |
so I rather hesitatingly turned the other jaw, | 25:15 | |
and sure enough, he slapped me on that cheek. | 25:18 | |
But I balled up my fist and knocked him | 25:21 | |
almost across the room saying as I did so, | 25:24 | |
"The Bible doesn't say what to do next." | 25:27 | |
(congregation laughs) | 25:30 | |
And yet, you know, somehow I think I missed | 25:32 | |
in that encounter the spirit of the New Testament. | 25:36 | |
When the whole issue of impeachment | 25:42 | |
was boiling a few days ago, | 25:44 | |
some of our people ostensibly on Christian and basis, | 25:46 | |
were shouting rather simplistically, | 25:50 | |
that only those who were without sin should cast stones. | 25:53 | |
What chance is there for any confrontation | 25:58 | |
and the subsequent reconciliation in a bad scene, | 26:03 | |
when individuals are not able to effect the marriage | 26:07 | |
of personal piety and social responsibility. | 26:11 | |
When we are unable | 26:17 | |
and unwilling to see and admit a wrong, | 26:19 | |
there's no chance for reconciliation. | 26:23 | |
Similarly, men who called for impeachment | 26:27 | |
primarily because had been duped, | 26:31 | |
were in that instance, behaving less than responsibly. | 26:34 | |
Vengeance born out of frustration, | 26:39 | |
can have no reconciling dimension. | 26:43 | |
My question then, and the one to which I offer | 26:47 | |
your attention this morning for rumination, | 26:51 | |
has to do with the roots out of which | 26:54 | |
reconciliation may develop, and the growth | 26:58 | |
which may sustain the fruits of reconciliation. | 27:02 | |
Back to my teenage experience for a moment. | 27:08 | |
What does a person in effect say? | 27:11 | |
What does he communicate about you, when he slaps your face? | 27:14 | |
Now he may do it physically, | 27:21 | |
he may do it verbally, | 27:23 | |
he may somehow do it emotionally or by use of structure. | 27:25 | |
What in fact, does this convey? | 27:29 | |
I submit that the slap on the face communicates, | 27:33 | |
I'm bigger than you are. | 27:39 | |
You're not important to me. | 27:41 | |
I'm stronger than you. | 27:43 | |
You're no good. I don't think much of you. | 27:44 | |
Now, our immediate and very natural reaction, | 27:48 | |
is to ball up our fist, | 27:52 | |
whether we do it emotionally or verbally or physically, | 27:53 | |
and prove to our distractor, that we are too, as big as he. | 27:57 | |
That we can in fact, take care of ourselves. | 28:04 | |
Now, if I read Matthew correctly, | 28:09 | |
Jesus is saying here, that a child of God | 28:13 | |
does not have to take his cue about himself, | 28:17 | |
from what other people think of him. | 28:22 | |
We do not have to prove anything to anybody. | 28:26 | |
Based on our acceptance of God's affirmation of us, | 28:32 | |
we are free to turn the other cheek. | 28:37 | |
Here is security sufficient to function | 28:41 | |
in spite of our outside ambiguity, | 28:45 | |
turmoil, and conflict. | 28:47 | |
Now I'm not able to say unequivocably, | 28:51 | |
that there are no roots of security | 28:53 | |
with comparable depth and breadth. | 28:56 | |
I'm a Christian. | 29:00 | |
These are the roots that I know. | 29:01 | |
Let me make however, two comments in this regard. | 29:03 | |
I believe that community is essential to maturity. | 29:08 | |
Community can deepen and intensify the root system | 29:13 | |
to continue my analogy. | 29:17 | |
But I am not willing to say that a security system, | 29:19 | |
which includes only community | 29:23 | |
has comparable staying power. | 29:26 | |
In fact, I doubt it. | 29:29 | |
In years past, I have taught courses | 29:32 | |
and I have dialogued regularly | 29:37 | |
with devotees of various religions. | 29:40 | |
My tentative judgment still stands. | 29:44 | |
Christian anthropology, | 29:48 | |
the view of man's need and weakness and strength, | 29:50 | |
implicit and traditional Christian theology | 29:54 | |
may approach the truth about us. | 29:58 | |
We humans may in fact, | 30:01 | |
need a point of reference outside our sphere. | 30:04 | |
It's an unusual person whose inner security | 30:11 | |
is not ripped apart when his relational world crumbles. | 30:14 | |
Unless there is some peg driven down | 30:18 | |
in the dimension of faith. | 30:22 | |
It seems to me that making usual people | 30:24 | |
able to function in an unusual way | 30:27 | |
is a pretty important concern. | 30:30 | |
Most of us are in fact, fairly usual people. | 30:35 | |
What I'm saying is that I see no other strong peg | 30:40 | |
on which to base my acceptance of myself, | 30:44 | |
than God's affirmation of me. | 30:49 | |
He called me good in Eden, | 30:52 | |
and he pronounced me free at Calvary. | 30:55 | |
That's enough. I am okay. | 30:58 | |
In spite of the stuff in me that I know needs cleaning up. | 31:00 | |
Now, these are the roots I speak of. | 31:06 | |
What about the limbs and the fruits? | 31:09 | |
The question now becomes, | 31:13 | |
in what ways does this personalized | 31:16 | |
and to some real degree individualized foundation, | 31:19 | |
in what way do these roots give opportunity | 31:23 | |
for an encouragement to the flowering of reconciliation? | 31:27 | |
In order for my suggestions to be more personal, | 31:33 | |
I want to phrase them in the first person singular. | 31:36 | |
These are insights, which as the old guy says, | 31:39 | |
I'm beginning to start to commence | 31:44 | |
to think about the possibility of setting out on. | 31:46 | |
These are insights which are beginning to be actualized | 31:49 | |
in my style of life. | 31:53 | |
First, this kind of acceptance of God's acceptance of me, | 31:56 | |
allows me to fail and to admit my failure. | 32:03 | |
Ours is a competitive society. | 32:11 | |
We measure ourselves by each other. | 32:13 | |
Over the years, we teach ourselves that we've got to win | 32:16 | |
we're in the business of proving ourselves to one another. | 32:20 | |
Have you ever seen some from other cultures, | 32:26 | |
perhaps playing table tennis? | 32:29 | |
I remember when I lived overseas, | 32:31 | |
I watched individuals play for hours in titling, | 32:33 | |
and never keeps going. | 32:38 | |
Little League, which may have started | 32:41 | |
as an attempt to let children play as another example, | 32:43 | |
has become in many cases, a win at all cost pressure cooker. | 32:47 | |
I think this is a microcosm of our culture. | 32:54 | |
We are afraid to fail. | 32:57 | |
Not in terms of total life alone. | 32:59 | |
We are afraid to fail in any particular. | 33:02 | |
We have become used to valuing ourselves | 33:06 | |
in terms of our successes. | 33:10 | |
In regard to Little League by the way, | 33:15 | |
I'm delighted that the church itself in some cases | 33:16 | |
has to provided an alternative. | 33:19 | |
I was in Indianapolis on a research project not long ago, | 33:22 | |
and visited with a med school faculty member, | 33:26 | |
a ball practice in the league where he was coaching. | 33:31 | |
It seems that a new league has been started there | 33:36 | |
and perhaps it's in existence in other places. | 33:39 | |
The purpose of this group is to play. | 33:42 | |
Every child on the team, for example, | 33:46 | |
gets to bat before anybody else bats a second time. | 33:49 | |
Whether the child is in the field or riding the bench. | 33:53 | |
Further, if any team scores as many as seven runs, | 33:57 | |
in a particular inning, | 34:02 | |
that inning's over, that team's out, | 34:03 | |
and it goes to the field. | 34:06 | |
Some persons are attempting to structure a game | 34:10 | |
so that it is in fact a game. | 34:14 | |
But I submit to you that this is against | 34:17 | |
our national pension for competitiveness. | 34:20 | |
We have to push to beat someone else. | 34:24 | |
My concern at this juncture though, | 34:28 | |
is not with a critique of our culture. | 34:30 | |
The counterculture I think has had some balancing influence. | 34:33 | |
And for that, I'm thankful. | 34:37 | |
My point here is that in many cases in our society, | 34:39 | |
our ability to feel good about ourselves | 34:45 | |
hinges on our not fouling up in any way. | 34:49 | |
Or in our being able to perceive ourselves | 34:54 | |
as a bit better than a neighbor. | 34:58 | |
I don't know about you, but when I was a teenager | 35:01 | |
and even beyond that, | 35:04 | |
I tended to balance out myself in my mind | 35:06 | |
by making sure that I was a little better than my peers. | 35:12 | |
If someone, for example, | 35:18 | |
was demonstrated to be more popular than I, | 35:19 | |
I would say in my mind, but I'm more sensitive. | 35:23 | |
And I could live with that. | 35:28 | |
I had better sense than to say it out loud. | 35:30 | |
If someone made better grades than I, | 35:32 | |
I could say in my mind to let me live with myself | 35:35 | |
and my friend, he may make better grades, | 35:41 | |
I can't argue that point, but I'm more popular. | 35:44 | |
And on and on it went. | 35:49 | |
I submit to you that this comparison of ourselves | 35:53 | |
with ourselves and is an infection endemic in our society. | 35:58 | |
With this pressure, | 36:04 | |
with this tendency to judge ourselves by ourselves, | 36:06 | |
it's most difficult to admit a failure, | 36:10 | |
to give up a point | 36:14 | |
or to be made to be foolish. | 36:17 | |
Assurance of my worth in God's sight. | 36:21 | |
That is a gut acknowledgement | 36:25 | |
that I don't have to earn God's favor or approval, | 36:27 | |
makes it possible for me not to take myself so seriously. | 36:31 | |
It's even possible to admit a failure. | 36:36 | |
Paul phrased it actually knocked down, but not knocked out. | 36:40 | |
That's a relaxing way to live. | 36:45 | |
I'm beginning to be convinced | 36:49 | |
that only a relatively relaxed person | 36:52 | |
has any chance of forgiving, accepting forgiveness, | 36:55 | |
and risking himself in true reconciliation. | 37:00 | |
A community where people are free to admit mistakes, | 37:08 | |
to be seen as less than in control can underline | 37:10 | |
and help a person actualize in his feelings | 37:14 | |
in that particular emotional dimension, | 37:17 | |
what he knows in his mind. | 37:20 | |
I found that a group of people who care enough about me | 37:23 | |
to express in fairly direct terms | 37:26 | |
occasionally their love for me, | 37:29 | |
and in addition, care enough about me to disagree with me | 37:32 | |
or correct me on occasion, | 37:36 | |
gives me an unusual sense of freedom. | 37:39 | |
It's great to know that friends will differ | 37:43 | |
and dialogue with you | 37:46 | |
about decisions, actions, and words. | 37:49 | |
It's freeing because in that setting, | 37:52 | |
there's an extra reason not to have to feel | 37:55 | |
that you're entirely and ultimately responsible | 37:58 | |
for the whole ball of wax. | 38:02 | |
This with the perspective of God's act in Christ, | 38:04 | |
is teaching me in an existential way, the meaning of grace. | 38:08 | |
My acceptance, warts, and all. | 38:13 | |
Now, when it's possible for me to admit my failure, | 38:18 | |
I'm open to looking at an unhappy or difficult relationship | 38:23 | |
in a way which will allow me to admit error. | 38:28 | |
Have you ever known a person | 38:32 | |
whose whole lifestyle assumption is that he cannot be wrong? | 38:34 | |
There's no chance in this arena | 38:39 | |
for a reconciling experience. | 38:42 | |
in as much as I'm experiencing the acceptance of grace, | 38:45 | |
I'm able to admit my part in the myriad upheavals | 38:48 | |
which plague human relationships. | 38:53 | |
Protestants in these days have a difficult time | 38:57 | |
understanding or accepting corporate gift. | 39:01 | |
And I think here it's even possible when we're able to see | 39:05 | |
that we are not accepted totally | 39:09 | |
on the basis of our cleanliness. | 39:11 | |
It's even possible for us to entertain the idea | 39:13 | |
of corporate guilt on the part of our society. | 39:16 | |
For you see, my standing isn't tied up | 39:21 | |
with a good evaluation of the group of which I'm a part. | 39:25 | |
Second, if my judgment about my self | 39:33 | |
can be softened to include failure and wrong, | 39:36 | |
it becomes possible at that point for me to admit | 39:40 | |
that someone who is worth something to God and to me | 39:44 | |
has done me wrong. | 39:50 | |
One of the things that bothers me | 39:52 | |
about our southern belief, is that it's difficult | 39:55 | |
for us to admit that someone has done us wrong. | 39:59 | |
We live in an abandoned farmhouse | 40:05 | |
that my family and I put back together some years ago. | 40:07 | |
One day in the process of doing that, | 40:11 | |
my children and I were painting in my son's room. | 40:13 | |
Now they had small brushes and I was attempting to edge | 40:17 | |
some fairly delicate work with a four inch paint brush. | 40:21 | |
Well, I slipped and spattered paint on the wall. | 40:25 | |
And my son whose room it was, made some comment about it. | 40:31 | |
And I was quick to let him know | 40:35 | |
that if they wanted to enjoy helping me, | 40:37 | |
and they were using the brushes | 40:39 | |
that were really appropriate, | 40:41 | |
that they were gonna have to plan to have some problems. | 40:43 | |
And we left it at that. | 40:47 | |
Well at supper, I had a chance to rethink it. | 40:49 | |
And so I said to James, | 40:52 | |
"I goofed. | 40:54 | |
I really was thinking about something else, | 40:56 | |
and I really was working too fast. | 40:58 | |
And even though that brush was too big for the job, | 41:00 | |
the fact of the matter is I goofed." | 41:03 | |
The next day, | 41:09 | |
he and I were working together on another project. | 41:10 | |
And a seven year old boy | 41:13 | |
who was holding a piece of wood for me, | 41:15 | |
let that piece had slip. | 41:18 | |
And it scared me, and it hurt me very slightly. | 41:20 | |
And he was able to say, as he looked up to me, | 41:25 | |
"Dad, I'm sorry, | 41:28 | |
I goofed." | 41:31 | |
Every time before then, it had been, "It slipped." | 41:33 | |
You've heard those of you who are parents, | 41:38 | |
you know, "It dropped." | 41:39 | |
"It slipped." | 41:41 | |
"It had been bad." Or, "Look what you made me do." | 41:42 | |
But this time he was able to say, "I goofed, I'm sorry." | 41:45 | |
Why? | 41:51 | |
I think because he knew, | 41:53 | |
well, I think he knew that I could accept a mistake in him, | 41:57 | |
because he had seen me admit a mistake of my own | 42:04 | |
and move on. | 42:09 | |
When our standards are perfectionistic, | 42:12 | |
when we judge ourselves and others | 42:15 | |
only on the basis of accomplishment and good, | 42:17 | |
our tendency is to protect and defend ourselves | 42:21 | |
either by implicitly denying the worth of the person | 42:25 | |
who has wronged us, | 42:29 | |
denying that we have been wronged, | 42:31 | |
which is our culture's way of doing it, | 42:33 | |
or denying, you know, | 42:35 | |
that any person other than ourselves | 42:37 | |
had anything to do with it. | 42:40 | |
In either case, there's no basis for reconciliation. | 42:42 | |
When I was a child, my mother's advice | 42:48 | |
on occasion when somebody had hurt me was, | 42:51 | |
you know, ignore the source and forget it. | 42:54 | |
Have you ever heard that? | 42:55 | |
Now that may be a pretty good immediate bandaid, | 42:57 | |
but it is bad theology, | 43:04 | |
and it's certainly no good for long range | 43:06 | |
lubrication of relationships. | 43:10 | |
No one will ever work at restoring a relationship | 43:14 | |
with one who isn't worth acknowledging. | 43:18 | |
My point here is, that a relaxed affirmation of my worth, | 43:23 | |
lets me affirm your value, | 43:27 | |
and admit that I need you. | 43:30 | |
Even enough to let you hurt me. | 43:32 | |
This can be I submit, | 43:35 | |
the beginning of an ability to call a hurt a hurt. | 43:36 | |
Call a hurt, a hurt. | 43:41 | |
And then move on to forgive. | 43:43 | |
Because the hurter is important. | 43:45 | |
Let me quickly suggest in the third place, | 43:49 | |
that the kind of gentle on my mind | 43:51 | |
self affirmation I'm talking about, | 43:54 | |
allows me to acknowledge my feelings, | 43:57 | |
and at the same time not be ruled by them. | 44:00 | |
It's not essential that I feel good all the time. | 44:04 | |
My acceptance of myself is not always based | 44:07 | |
on my feeling good about myself. | 44:11 | |
I can be frustrated or hurt | 44:14 | |
as a result of an insult, | 44:19 | |
and yet I don't have to run or sulk. | 44:22 | |
I can be angry, which for me is very, very close | 44:26 | |
to being fearful, | 44:30 | |
as a result of some injury. | 44:32 | |
And still not have to prove myself. | 44:34 | |
Feelings are real. | 44:39 | |
And they do influence me. | 44:41 | |
When I can tip my hat to them though, | 44:44 | |
to use Bill Peck's terminology, | 44:46 | |
they are not able to bully me. | 44:49 | |
Acknowledging my feelings is essential, | 44:54 | |
because they are not the basis of self acceptance however, | 44:57 | |
I do not have to let them rule me. | 45:02 | |
This allows me to be hurt and to admit it, | 45:06 | |
and still not have to prove it's okay. | 45:10 | |
Finally, when I don't have to fit people | 45:15 | |
into my preoccupation with myself, | 45:18 | |
I can give them back to themselves | 45:21 | |
and can avoid getting boxed into using them for my purposes. | 45:24 | |
You see, not only is the secure individual | 45:29 | |
able to affirm other persons who are friends | 45:33 | |
or who have earned his respect, | 45:36 | |
he's able to affirm those who differ from him, | 45:39 | |
do not serve his ends or stand in his way. | 45:42 | |
Jesus, in the same chapter of Matthew, | 45:46 | |
has strong words about looking on a woman to lust after her. | 45:48 | |
Now there probably were and are sexual implications to this, | 45:53 | |
but I think a specific application | 45:57 | |
has to do with the danger of seeing a person as a thing, | 46:00 | |
to satisfy or elevate oneself. | 46:08 | |
When I was being considered for my present position, | 46:13 | |
one person raised questions about my coming to that job. | 46:17 | |
The bosses liked me, my colleagues liked me, | 46:22 | |
students could accept me, pastors could accept me. | 46:26 | |
One person had questions. | 46:29 | |
The woman who had were with me for a number of months | 46:33 | |
as a secretary, was not at all sure about me. | 46:37 | |
Her complaint was this, | 46:45 | |
"I'm afraid he sees me | 46:47 | |
as an instrument to get his job done." | 46:50 | |
Now that's a damning | 46:56 | |
indictment. | 47:01 | |
And she was right. | 47:03 | |
I had been so caught up with the job. | 47:05 | |
I had been so task oriented. | 47:08 | |
My self identity had been so tied in, | 47:11 | |
that I used her much as I would a typewriter or a machine. | 47:16 | |
All that, while I was piously talking about serving God. | 47:24 | |
Had our relationship gotten fouled up, | 47:33 | |
had she hurt or wronged me, | 47:37 | |
there was no way in which with that kind of mindset, | 47:40 | |
I could reach out in reconciliation. | 47:45 | |
Obviously there's no way that any person | 47:49 | |
will reach out in the hurt and perspiration, | 47:52 | |
that is in the beginning of reconciliation | 47:56 | |
to an instrument or to a vehicle of accomplishment. | 47:58 | |
When we have to produce, | 48:03 | |
the detours of problem relationships are intolerable. | 48:05 | |
And we set out out to surround ourselves by those | 48:10 | |
who will present no problems. | 48:14 | |
In a job, this may be valid. | 48:17 | |
As an approach to life, it's impossible and devastating. | 48:20 | |
Jesus tells me to love my enemy. | 48:27 | |
No way. | 48:31 | |
No way, unless the pool of good will | 48:33 | |
in which I have my existence, | 48:37 | |
is welling up with sufficient consistency and power | 48:39 | |
to let me not only splash, but pipe toward him, | 48:44 | |
that good will, certain that there's enough there. | 48:49 | |
Not only for me, but for him. | 48:54 | |
God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself. | 49:01 | |
I pray that you know this and become in the going | 49:09 | |
an instrument of his peace. | 49:16 | |
Amen. | 49:20 | |
(bright worship music) | 49:25 | |
(tender worship music) | 53:04 | |
(tender worship music continues) | 54:23 | |
♪ Glory, glory ♪ | 54:52 | |
(bright choir worship music) | 54:58 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:34 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:36 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:37 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:39 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:40 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:42 | |
♪ Amen, amen ♪ | 57:44 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 57:45 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 57:47 | |
(tender worship music) | 57:50 | |
(bright worship music) | 57:58 | |
♪ Hallelujah ♪ | 58:36 | |
♪ Hallelujah ♪ | 58:39 | |
(bright worship music) | 58:42 | |
♪ Hallelujah ♪ | 59:01 | |
♪ Hallelujah ♪ | 59:04 | |
♪ Hallelujah ♪ | 59:08 | |
(tender worship music) | 59:14 | |
- | Oh holy God, | 59:26 |
Give us your spirit we pray, to cleanse our hearts, | 59:28 | |
direct the use of our gifts | 59:33 | |
and perfect the offering of ourselves to you. | 59:35 | |
We pray in the spirit of Jesus the Christ, | 59:39 | |
amen. | 59:43 | |
(bright worship music) | 59:45 | |
Send us forth oh Lord, | 1:02:59 | |
with your blessing and accompany us ever with your grace, | 1:03:01 | |
that we may hence forth live in peace, love and holiness, | 1:03:07 | |
and may your all encompassing love, | 1:03:12 | |
support us now and forever. | 1:03:15 | |
Amen. | 1:03:19 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:03:25 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:03:31 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:03:37 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:03:42 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:03:51 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:04:00 | |
♪ Amen ♪ | 1:04:13 | |
(church bell ringing) | 1:04:26 | |
(bright worship music) | 1:04:39 |
Item Info
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