Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)

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-	I am very grateful to observe that	0:21
	some of our magnificent players	0:23
	and some of our numerous spectators were able to	0:26
	return from Charlotte in time to get to chapel this morning.	0:30
	And we're able to get to chapel	0:36
	here in Squaw Valley, North Carolina,	0:37
	No minister of the gospel ever needs to give an explanation	0:44
	for walking into the pulpit of a Christian Church	0:48
	and preaching on the subject of Christianity and sex.	0:52
	It is as proper a topic in a church pulpit as the subject of	0:57
	Christianity and the life to come.	1:04
	However,	1:08
	I would like to note in passing that we have not had a	1:09
	sermon in this chapel on this theme	1:14
	during the past three years.	1:17
	And in view of the fact that almost every time I have been	1:19
	invited by a denominational group to speak to their group,	1:24
	it has been requested that I speak on	1:31
	some phase of this topic.	1:33
	I believe there is an interest on the part of students	1:36
	in knowing what Christianity has to say about sex.	1:39
	And I believe that students and adults are entitled to know	1:43
	what Christianity has to say about this important subject.	1:49
	And for this reason,	1:54
	I have prepared a sermon which will deal in a general way	1:55
	with an orientation to the interpretation that Christianity	2:00
	makes of sex.	2:05
	There are four basic presuppositions we should keep in mind	2:09
	as we think about this subject.	2:13
	The first is that everything in the world,	2:16
	including the instincts,	2:20
	the passions and drives of the physical body were created by	2:22
	Almighty God.	2:26
	And he is quoted as	2:29
	(indistinct)	2:33
	everything that he had made that it is very good.	2:34
	The second basic presupposition is that it is the intention	2:39
	of God that we should praise him,	2:45
	not by being sad and downcast,	2:49
	but by being happy and joyful.	2:53
	He would have us follow the thrilling advice of Beethoven	2:57
	that we should praise the Lord with holy songs of joy.	3:01
	John Wesley was famous for his saying that sour religion is	3:08
	the... the devil's religion.	3:12
	Now the third basic presupposition that we should keep in	3:17
	mind, as we begin to think about Christianity and sex is	3:20
	that God never places us in situations	3:25
	nor endows us with instincts	3:31
	that create temptations	3:35
	we are powerless to overcome.	3:37
	It is his revelation that we are never tempted above that	3:41
	which we are able to bear.	3:47
	The fourth basic presupposition	3:51
	I would like for you to keep in mind,	3:53
	not simply between now and 12 o'clock,	3:54
	but for the rest of your life is,	3:57
	there is a time	4:00
	and a place	4:03
	for every good value of life.	4:06
	Some things which are wholesome and very good in one place	4:11
	are unwholesome and very bad in another place.	4:17
	For example,	4:22
	a shovel full of very rich earth	4:23
	is a blessing in the garden,	4:26
	but it would be a curse if you found it in the middle of the	4:28
	dining room floor,	4:31
	it is entirely in order to find egg and jelly smeared on a	4:36
	breakfast plate at 7.30 in the morning.	4:40
	But if you see egg and jelly smeared on a plate	4:44
	at 11 o'clock, you normally say the plate is dirty.	4:47
	Sexual intimacy inside the vows of marriage is one thing.	4:55
	Sexual intimacy outside the vows of marriage is an entirely	5:03
	different reality.	5:08
	Now these basic presuppositions should be kept in mind as we	5:12
	come directly then to our topic.	5:17
	What is it that Christianity has to say about sex?	5:20
	Very simply stated it could be put in these words.	5:26
	God created men and women and endowed us with certain	5:31
	physical capacities, which are mutually attractive	5:37
	and by means of which when bodies are joined,	5:42
	the human race may be perpetuated upon the earth	5:47
	and the love of a man for his wife and vice versa,	5:51
	may be expressed and deepen.	5:55
	Our Lord Jesus Christ himself said,	6:00
	Have you not heard that God made them	6:02
	male and female	6:07
	and said for this reason,	6:10
	that is for the reason that he made them of two opposite,	6:14
	but complimentary sexes,	6:18
	for this reason shall a man leave	6:21
	his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife.	6:23
	And the two shall be one flesh.	6:30
	So they are no longer two but one flesh.	6:35
	Now this joining of flesh is considered	6:42
	in the Christian understanding of life	6:48
	to be an experience reserved	6:50
	exclusively for monogamous marriage.	6:52
	This is the Christian view of sex.	6:57
	The apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians represents	7:03
	biblical Christianity	7:08
	when he says that neither fornicators nor adulterers shall	7:09
	inherit the kingdom of God.	7:14
	Now fornicators of course are persons who give their bodies	7:17
	to each other before marriage.	7:21
	Adulterers are persons who are married and	7:23
	who give their bodies to others than their spouses.	7:27
	And said the apostle Paul,	7:32
	representing all of biblical Christianity,	7:34
	either and both are outside the realm of the kingdom of God.	7:37
	I think it is worthwhile pointing out at this juncture that	7:45
	the negative aspects of the Christian teaching concerning	7:48
	sex are not intended primarily to thwart the sex instinct	7:51
	or desire or drive,	7:58
	but rather to protect and guarantee the fulfillment of it in	8:00
	Christian marriage.	8:04
	This is the important point to remember.	8:07
	Because Christian marriage, when it is conceived	8:12
	as it ought to be, is the most thrilling and the most	8:15
	wonderful experience that can come to an individual,	8:19
	either male or female in this life on earth.	8:23
	There is no kind of joy or happiness,	8:29
	no fulfillment of life that can compare with that	8:32
	which is possible inside the circle of love	8:36
	which is created by a really Christian marriage.	8:40
	Within Christian marriage,	8:46
	there is the possibility of the fulfillment of all the basic	8:49
	psychogenic needs of mankind.	8:53
	In a marriage of trust and of love,	8:57
	there is the satisfaction of the desire for someone to share	9:02
	your joys and your sorrows.	9:07
	There is the possibility of rearing children	9:10
	in a normal and healthy environment.	9:14
	In Christian marriage	9:18
	there is the possibility of the expression of the id without	9:19
	being odd.	9:24
	There is the possibility of living at peace with your	9:26
	superego,	9:29
	the possibility of being a creative citizen in a way which	9:31
	is probably not possible any other way in life.	9:37
	There was a typographical error in the local newspaper	9:44
	last September,	9:50
	which I think says this better than anything else that comes	9:52
	to my mind just now.	9:56
	On September 6th	9:59
	there was a story in the Durham paper reporting	10:00
	a marriage that took place in Asheboro in a Quaker church.	10:04
	The headline writer inadvertently omitted the name of the	10:10
	groom,	10:14
	so that the caption to the story read like this.	10:16
	Quaker service unites Lilian Borough.	10:21
	There was more truth there, than was intended.	10:29
	There is nothing like a Christian marriage,	10:34
	whether it's Quaker or Presbyterian or Methodist to unite an	10:38
	individual within a marriage and all of his basic necessary	10:43
	psychogenic requirements,	10:48
	nothing that does it quite like the Christian marriage.	10:51
	It not only unites two people to each other,	10:55
	but unites each individual within himself or herself.	10:58
	Well,	11:05
	a great many young people see very clearly this	11:06
	Christian view of sex and they would like to	11:10
	adopt it as the pattern for their own living,	11:13
	but there is a problem connected with it.	11:17
	They see another picture with equal clarity.	11:22
	Fornication and adultery are very widespread.	11:28
	They hear the names of Freud and Kinsey bandied about,	11:33
	and without knowing specifically what either one of them	11:39
	said or wrote or without knowing what other scientists	11:43
	working in this same area have said about the research and	11:49
	the conclusions of Freud and Kinsey,	11:52
	they adopt a generalized impression	11:56
	that the practice of sexual intimacy,	12:01
	whether inside or outside of marriage,	12:04
	is the universal practice that the sex instinct is a	12:08
	kind of tidal wave forever rushing onward,	12:14
	drowning your resolutions and your better judgment and your	12:17
	good intentions.	12:23
	Well,	12:25
	is that the state in which we find ourselves?	12:28
	Is man possessed by an uncontrollable sex instinct	12:33
	which God has created, and which absolutely dominates him?	12:38
	That assertion would be seriously open to question	12:45
	by psychiatrists	12:49
	and psychologists	12:52
	and marriage counselors.	12:55
	Every one of these people working in this field are quite	12:57
	aware of the fact that a large percentage of the illicit	13:01
	affairs which are entered into,	13:05
	are entered into for reasons entirely	13:09
	different from that of the sex instinct.	13:13
	This may be surprising to some of you,	13:16
	but it is not surprising to persons who work with individual	13:18
	problems as a part of their vocation.	13:23
	Here for example, is a young man who hates his father.	13:26
	His father has not allowed him to have the boat he wanted	13:31
	or the car he wanted or to go to the school he wanted,	13:36
	hasn't allowed him to do a great many things he wanted to do	13:41
	or has made him do things he didn't want to do	13:44
	and he hates his father. He rebels against him.	13:46
	He is in a state of emotional rebellion against his father,	13:49
	and he wants to do something that will hurt him.	13:52
	Well, he knows that his father will be extremely upset	13:57
	if his son should transgress in this area.	14:01
	And so he deliberately,	14:05
	though not always consciously	14:07
	enters into an illicit relationship to	14:09
	clobber his dad,	14:12
	or here is a husband who has done something that has	14:16
	outraged his wife enormously.	14:20
	She is seething with resentment and wants to get even.	14:23
	Counselors know that very often such wives,	14:28
	or if it's reversed, the husband	14:32
	will enter into an illicit affair with someone	14:34
	perhaps whom he or she despises	14:37
	simply to get even	14:41
	with the mate who has done something to anger them,	14:43
	or here is a man who basically feels inferior.	14:48
	This is one of the most typical cases of illicit sex	14:53
	relations for reasons other than the sex instinct.	14:57
	This man feels inferior.	15:02
	He doesn't feel he's really and fully a man.	15:04
	And so in neurotic fashion,	15:09
	he seeks a wide variety of extra marital relationships	15:11
	to bolster his sagging ego.	15:15
	And ironically,	15:19
	the reason behind it is not that he is possessed of a	15:20
	tremendous sex urge,	15:24
	but that he feels inferior at this point.	15:26
	Any psychiatrist knows that there are a great many	15:34
	young ladies who leave the path of decency	15:37
	and become illicit	15:42
	for no other reason than that	15:44
	they do not feel loved or accepted by anyone,	15:47
	human or divine.	15:51
	They either did not receive affection and acceptance at home	15:55
	from their parents, their brothers, or their sisters,	16:00
	or they received so much of it that when they left home and	16:04
	came to college, by comparison	16:07
	they feel quite unloved and unaccepted.	16:09
	And so feeling that this is the surest way to be accepted,	16:14
	at least on some level and at least for a short length of	16:18
	time, they offer their bodies.	16:21
	The last of these motives that I wish to mention now	16:27
	is the motive of being afraid to be left out	16:33
	and how we do fear being left out.	16:39
	From the age of about two on through life	16:45
	we find boys and girls, young men and young women,	16:49
	old men and old women doing this, that and the other	16:53
	for the simple reason that somebody else is doing it.	16:59
	How many people went to Charlotte last night	17:05
	even though they did not have a ticket to the ball game,	17:07
	simply because their fraternity brothers were going or their	17:10
	roommate was going, it was the thing to do, the place to go.	17:13
	How many young people have lowered their sex standards	17:19
	for the exclusive reason	17:22
	that they didn't want to be left out?	17:25
	They had heard that it was the thing to do,	17:27
	and they didn't want to be left out.	17:30
	Now, the reason why this is particularly important	17:33
	in this generation,	17:36
	as opposed, perhaps to earlier generations is	17:37
	that as the Harvard sociologist Sorokin has pointed out	17:42
	in a book published three years ago	17:45
	entitled the American sex revolution,	17:47
	there has been in this present generation,	17:50
	a cultivated emphasis upon everything pertaining to sex	17:53
	so that the sex emphasis of the present civilization	17:58
	is one that has gone far beyond	18:03
	the normal expected emphasis upon one biological urge,	18:05
	as opposed to others.	18:11
	As Sorokin points out,	18:14
	in our civilization, sex permeates TV, movies, magazines,	18:17
	newspapers, art, the theater, commercialism,	18:22
	and is used to sell everything from automobiles to cigars.	18:26
	And as he further points out,	18:31
	it seems that we cannot have even a livestock exposition	18:33
	without the exhibition of sex in one form or another.	18:36
	We have some evidence here in our own state that	18:42
	Sorokin may be right.	18:45
	A short time ago, there was in Winston Salem,	18:47
	the untimely death of a beautiful girl.	18:53
	Newspaper report of her death, which was published	18:59
	while her remains lay at the funeral home as a corpse	19:03
	carried the false statistics on the tape	19:08
	measured statistics of her figure.	19:11
	Kim's... Sorokin may be right.	19:16
	We may have pushed this matter far beyond what is	19:20
	either wholesome or normal.	19:24
	Now the significance of that is this, that if an impression	19:27
	is created by this,	19:30
	that this is something which everybody does and does all the	19:33
	time, then you see if I'm not involved in it,	19:36
	whether married or not,	19:39
	I'm being left out and nobody wants to be left out.	19:41
	So we see that there are at least five motives,	19:47
	which do not originate with sex at all,	19:52
	which account for a significant percentage of the	19:55
	illicit relationships in this area.	19:59
	Now, what is very important	20:03
	for us to remember at this point is,	20:05
	that whatever may have been the real reason for this	20:10
	neurotic sex activity,	20:14
	as an attempt to solve a basic psychological problem,	20:17
	this attempt proved to be not a solution at all to the basic	20:22
	psychological problem,	20:27
	because to whatever problem existed originally is added	20:30
	the factor of guilt.	20:35
	And when you mix inferiority and guilt,	20:37
	you get a guilt complex, or when you mix hatred and guilt,	20:41
	you a guilt complex,	20:46
	and the guilt complex is far more difficult to eradicate	20:49
	than any of the simple feelings which led to this	20:53
	neurotic activity.	20:56
	And so we should keep this in mind	21:00
	as we approach this subject and as we think about	21:04
	the reasons why there is so much	21:06
	immorality,	21:10
	and as we think soberly about the choices we shall make.	21:11
	There is just one other unwholesome approach	21:17
	to the subject of sex which should be cleared up in	21:22
	even such a brief treatment of the subject	21:26
	as is possible in one sermon.	21:28
	And this has to do with the reasons we give ourselves for	21:30
	not being promiscuous.	21:33
	If it is true, as the old saying has it,	21:38
	that the ultimate treason is to do the right thing	21:41
	for the wrong reason,	21:45
	then I think we better take a look at some of the	21:47
	reasons we give ourselves for maintaining outwardly	21:48
	the Christian principle and ethic of sex.	21:53
	Some of these reasons are very unwholesome.	22:00
	Take this one.	22:04
	The daughter is packing,	22:07
	getting ready to go away to college.	22:08
	And mother comes into the room and says, "Now, dear,	22:10
	just remember when you get to college,	22:13
	that if you break the 10 commandments,	22:17
	you may get pregnant."	22:19
	Well, you might.	22:22
	And if you did, it would be very bad.	22:26
	But then on the other hand,	22:31
	a good many people have broken the 10 commandments	22:35
	and they didn't get pregnant.	22:37
	And then here's this father helping his son	22:42
	unload the suitcase at college.	22:45
	And for the eleven hundredth time	22:50
	he says to him just before leaving for home,	22:52
	"Now son, remember what we've told you about sex?	22:55
	Because if you don't, you may get a disease."	22:59
	Well, you might.	23:04
	And this disease is one of the serious health problems of	23:06
	America today.	23:10
	But again,	23:12
	there is a possibility that you won't,	23:14
	because a great many people have forgotten	23:16
	what dad said about sex and did not get a disease.	23:20
	I think the worst reason of all	23:25
	is the one which young people usually give themselves,	23:27
	for maintaining an outer	23:31
	resemblance of Christian ethics.	23:33
	They say to themselves, well,	23:36
	if we don't practice the Christian principle,	23:37
	the campus cop may come along and bang on the car door.	23:43
	The fear of being caught is a powerful deterrent,	23:49
	but it is not a good one.	23:56
	There have been many people who were immoral and did not get	23:59
	caught.	24:04
	Now over against these dire threats of what might happen,	24:06
	stands the normal human response to a challenge.	24:12
	We generally expect people when challenged	24:19
	to accept the challenge and try to beat the odds,	24:23
	whether it's basketball	24:27
	or debating or war or business or sex.	24:29
	The natural human response is	24:35
	to accept the challenge and try to beat the odds for the	24:37
	sake of beating the odds.	24:40
	But the greatest difficulty about these reasons of probable	24:45
	peril is that we shall become preoccupied with these and	24:50
	fail to note the certain consequences of immoral activity.	24:57
	The certain consequences,	25:04
	which come every time any person violates his standards.	25:06
	The first is a two-fold realization.	25:15
	The realization that I am	25:19
	the kind of person	25:24
	who will be sexually intimate outside marriage,	25:26
	and my partner is the kind of person	25:30
	who will be sexually intimate outside marriage.	25:35
	Now this two-fold realization at first appears to be as	25:40
	unimportant as it is obvious,	25:45
	but actually this two-fold realization becomes a land mine,	25:49
	which will explode when stepped on later.	25:55
	And there is a second certain consequence that comes	26:00
	and that is that when we prematurely attempt to reap the	26:05
	fruits of marriage,	26:10
	we rob the relationship of marriage	26:13
	of some of its unique interest,	26:17
	which God intended that it should have and which it must	26:20
	retain if marriage is to be the enduring	26:24
	and the happy relationship you want it to be.	26:27
	Now these are certain consequences and there is one more.	26:32
	By the practice of sexual intimacy outside marriage,	26:38
	whether before or during marriage,	26:43
	we associate physical intimacy with anxiety and guilt,	26:47
	whether we do it consciously or intentionally or not,	26:53
	we nonetheless do it,	26:56
	so that in marriage	26:59
	we find physical intimacy associated with anxiety and guilt.	27:00
	And this is one of the ways by which great damage comes to	27:05
	the marriage relationship itself.	27:11
	Francis Merrill of Dartmouth,	27:15
	in a book on courtship and marriage,	27:17
	which was published last year,	27:19
	points out that every study that has been made to date,	27:22
	which touches on this point,	27:26
	conclusively shows that your chances of happiness and	27:29
	success in marriage are greater	27:34
	if you refer, if you conserve and refer to marriage,	27:37
	all physical intimacy.	27:43
	And so it seems to come down to this,	27:48
	that you need to make the choice	27:51
	of what you want out of life.	27:53
	Do you want a Christian marriage with its	27:56
	tremendous fulfillment? It's thrilling exhilaration of joy,	27:58
	completion, happiness, mutual respect, trust, love.	28:02
	If you do, then you have to begin preparing for it.	28:08
	And one of the kinds of preparation that is necessary is to	28:11
	read the letter to her that has been published on sex,	28:14
	to prepare for it by becoming the kind of person who will	28:19
	inspire trust and confidence in your mate.	28:23
	And by beginning to build a courtship with someone who is	28:28
	worthy of your devotion and with whom you can be	28:34
	romantically in love.	28:37
	And now I would like to depart from customary homiletical	28:41
	procedure just now.	28:45
	And instead of giving the usual kind of conclusion,	28:49
	I would like to end the sermon where it began,	28:55
	with a consideration of the basic presuppositions,	28:59
	which undergird all thinking about Christianity and sex.	29:03
	First, everything in the world,	29:09
	including the instincts and passions of the body were	29:11
	created by Almighty God.	29:13
	And he said that everything he created was very good.	29:16
	Second, that it is his intention that we should glorify him,	29:20
	not with sourness and a long face,	29:25
	but with joy and happiness.	29:28
	And third,	29:31
	that he never places us in situations nor endows us with	29:32
	instincts that create temptations,	29:36
	we cannot overcome	29:39
	And fourth,	29:41
	there is a time and a place for every good value in life	29:43
	and it is important to know the true time	29:49
	and the true place.	29:53
	Oh God who has made us for thyself and who has created us	30:01
	in thine own image, grant us grace to keep that image alive.	30:07
	May we not mar it by surrender to a baser image,	30:14
	help us always to have the mind in us,	30:18
	which was also in Christ Jesus, our Lord.	30:21
	And now may the grace of the	30:25
	Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.	30:27

Item Info

Title:

Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)

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https://idn.duke.edu/ark:/87924/r44m95c2w

Date:

March 13, 1960

Speaker:

Wilkinson, Howard C.

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Duke University. Chapel

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UA.17.01.0003 RR-0096
ref5393_8hy
uachapelsermaud
duke:628164
dcrau002123
ark:/87924/r44m95c2w
1dd9bafd-a0b4-46a3-92dd-c063fe878489

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Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)

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1. Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)

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Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)

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